couples hand with hand

Relationship counselling – why it may be important

Relationship counselling is often misunderstood as marriage counselling. Although many elements of marriage counselling can apply but there are also instances like employees & employer relationship, professionals and clients relationships etc. Once a relationship counsellor comprehends the problem, he works towards recognizing and harmonizing the situation to help manage the situation better.

How does relationship counselling work

Expectations of the client will be a predominant factor in how relationship counselling for couples work. It is never like a one size fits all. Every conflict has different underlying reasons and therefore different solutions. But, in most instances, relationship counselling does help in finding a way out of the imbroglio and put the relationship back on a smoother path. Some people expect to transform their relationships as well as their lives, while for others, it could be finding solutions to specific problems to move forward with lesser anxiety and higher confidence.

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Duration of relationship counselling can vary between 1 and 3 sessions where short-term therapies can resolve the problem. But, it could be anywhere between 12 and 24 sessions in situations that are complex such as clients facing issues with their marriage. 

The therapist will try to gain a deep understanding of the history of the relationship targeting the client’s emotions and working on such changes that may be necessary to bring about a happier and healthier life between the parties involved. For instance, clients facing problems with their marital relationship may have a communication gap, excessive expectations from each other, sexual issues, an absence of understanding and trust, and perhaps even an excessive involvement from the in-laws. 

After the therapist has completely pictured the trouble spots, he works in unison with the couple to find a solution that can restore happiness for the couple and steady the course of their lives. In the process, the therapist may try different approaches and focus on what works best for the specific situation. In some instances, both partners in a marriage may not talk much and that could be more challenging for the counsellor/therapist to work their way around.

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The therapist will try to gain a deep understanding of the history of the relationship targeting the client’s emotions and working on such changes that may be necessary to bring about a happier and healthier life between the parties involved. For instance, clients facing problems with their marital relationship may have a communication gap, excessive expectations from each other, sexual issues, an absence of understanding and trust, and perhaps even an excessive involvement from the in-laws. 

Generally, each session with the counsellor/therapist takes about an hour and the counsellor/therapist asks a series of questions for the parties to answer. This will create a picture of the underlying causes of the conflict and how the parties feel about it.

Relationship counselling for specific aspects of a relationship

Relationship counselling is not confined to differences or problems within a relationship. A relationship counsellor can also be helpful in situations like whether one should get married at all, whether to raise a family, were to set up a home etc. In situations like these, relationship counselling is helpful in understanding each partner and his/her viewpoints better and in a different perspective and avoid potential conflicts.

Can relationship counselling guarantee change?

Unfortunately, the answer to this question is NO. Relationship counselling is not like a composition of chemicals that guarantees to cure or at least works to suppress the symptoms. The role of the counsellor to analyse conflict points in the relationship impartially, speak to both parties in the conflict and fathom the conflict itself to find solutions.

Some conflicts may be caused by misunderstanding and when parties to the conflict have the opportunity to speak out in isolation, the crux of the problem emerges and that gives the ability to the counsellor to find a solution. Often times lean communication or absence of communication has been seen to accentuate a conflict encourage the parties to take an irreversible stand. The human ego is in the forefront of such situations and the counsellor is called upon to work carefully around to extricate the parties and show them light at the end of the tunnel.

Nearly every relationship suffers periods of trials and tribulations

Most relationships suffer some kind of trials and tribulations across its length and feigning ignorance will only complicate the issues. In some instances, tiny differences can blow out of proportion and quickly grow into a major problem threatening the very roots of the relationship. This can happen between couples, friends, at the workplace, or social circles. If you get help from a professional relationship counsellor, you can quickly salvage the situation and bring a fresh bout of energy and understanding into the relationship.

Relationship counselling to improve understanding and communication between the parties

Most relationships suffer some kind of trials and tribulations across its length and feigning ignorance will only complicate the issues. In some instances, tiny differences can blow out of proportion and quickly grow into a major problem threatening the very roots of the relationship. This can happen between couples, friends, at the workplace, or social circles. If you get help from a professional relationship counsellor, you can quickly salvage the situation and bring a fresh bout of energy and understanding into the relationship.

Nearly every relationship has individuals at its core and individuals bring their own personality, personal history, hopes, desires and needs into the relationship. Consequently, even an exceptional relationship fails to see eye to eye on each and every issue. To be together sharing an aspect of our life or our lives itself with another human, compromise, discussion and negotiation are invariably needed.

Most relationships suffer some kind of trials and tribulations across its length and feigning ignorance will only complicate the issues. In some instances, tiny differences can blow out of proportion and quickly grow into a major problem threatening the very roots of the relationship. This can happen between couples, friends, at the workplace, or social circles. If you get help from a professional relationship counsellor, you can quickly salvage the situation and bring a fresh bout of energy and understanding into the relationship.

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The ability to communicate with another human to share our fears and needs and listen to the property, fears, and needs of the other person, therefore, is a necessary tool to maintain a healthy relationship. Relationship counsellors are trained to challenge and recognize the current communication habits in individuals and teach ways of more effective communication. Often, a mere encouragement to engage in honest and open communication during the counselling process itself can set individuals on a path to calmer and more open communication. With the communication skills getting stronger (listening as well speaking) individuals are empowered to resolve small as well as big problems and work towards stronger relationship even in times of acute stress. Relationship counselling helps in rejuvenating emotional connection and restoring fading intimacy.
Emotional intensity is in the forefront of most new relationships followed by strong sexual desire and feeling of generosity and warmth for each other, particularly in the case of the couple relationship. This is also called the ‘honeymoon’ period when individuals spend most of their time in bonding together. They become very close to each other and their attraction gets stronger. However, when the relationship progresses and becomes familiar, individuals tend to lose the connectivity because the daily grind starts interfering with the love affair. There is a paucity of quality time to be together, and people tend to get too tired to enjoy each other or life itself. Relationship counselling can help rejuvenate this lost intimacy and agitation restoring the emotional connection.
happy couples

Thus, even if you suspect trouble brewing in your relationship, never hesitate to seek relationship counselling to help you nip the trouble in its bud.

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